To all the women waiting to become mothers; the women waiting for ovulation, waiting for a positive test result, waiting for an embryo to implant, waiting for the next round of IVF….I see you. Happy Mother’s Day. May today your mother heart be strong and patient. May you celebrate this part of your heart that is holding space for motherhood – preparing and planning and focusing on faith. Be kind to yourself today; hone in on your self love and self care skills.
To all the women out there navigating baby loss today. The mothers who miscarried, the mothers who gave birth to sleeping babies, the mothers whose babies went to sleep one day and didn’t ever wake up: the mothers whose every single cell of their beings aches today with a love and a pain that words can never begin to do justice to. I see you. Happy Mother’s Day. Today we celebrate your strength and your humanity and your love – the most tenacious Mother’s Love there is – a love that crosses an incomprehensible veil between this earth and a place beyond. May today you offer yourself the most tender self compassion you can muster. No doubt the heavens will make sure the night stars shine even brighter tonight.
To all women out there who are pregnant, at 6 weeks or 42 weeks pregnant and any or all of the weeks in between; the women who are feeling like ethereal pregnant goddesses and the women who feel grumpy and heavy and who are praying for labour to begin just so they can see the end of the physical struggle of pregnancy. Maybe you woke up this morning to the first signs of labour. Maybe today you will meet your baby for the first time? Wherever you are in pregnancy (or in labour!); I see you. Happy Mother’s Day. May you take a moment of stillness and connection with the baby/babies inside your body to acknowledge and process this miraculous and radical transformation internally and externally. May you enjoy the unfolding; even if it’s just for a moment here and there amongst the physical discomfort.
To the women out there in the beginning of the 4th trimester or “the newborn cocoon”, the women mothering singletons and twins, triplets or quadruplets even: those early weeks of parenting tiny little humans who are acclimatizing to life on earth is really intense. You’re probably feeling like “all you’re doing is feeding, eating, sleeping and soothing” and yet this is some of the most important and the hardest work in the world – and you’re doing it! I see you. Happy Mother’s Day. Keep on taking it one day at a time, one feed at a time, one sleep at a time….and if that all feels like too much….?
One. Breath. At. A. Time.
Relax your shoulders, make space to breathe, close your eyes and allow my promise to sink it: “It will get easier!”
To the women out there parenting bouncing babies, one year olds, two year olds, threenagers, teenagers, grown up children….whatever stage of development or sleep regression or rite of passage you are parenting your little humans through: I see you. Happy Mother’s Day. As you look back on all the Mother’s Days that came before I hope you can give yourself a huge pat on the back for all your flexibility, your perseverance, your tenacity, your patience and your commitment to parenthood. Parenting little humans is such a juggling act – and you’re there in the thick of it (or you came through it!) doing it year after year after year, no let up. On this Mother’s Day I see your hard work on all those 364 days in between the annual day of recognition. Look in the mirror today and offer yourself three things: acknowledgement, appreciation and forgiveness. Forgiveness for all the moments that you didn’t quite parent the way you wanted, and more importantly forgiveness for the moments that you didn’t acknowledge and appreciate yourself for the fantastic job that I am certain you’re doing; for the moments that you let yourself be racked with guilt over something and nothing and you forgot your fabulousness. Walk away from the mirror and somewhere today indulge in at least one act of radical self care. Even if it’s just enjoying a scoop of your favorite ice-cream in the bath once all the little humans are in bed with their eyes closed.
To all the women out there navigating parenthood alone; and to the men navigating parenthood alone – for there is significant part of you that plays the role of “mother” too. To those parents flying solo….even if they regularly feel like they can barely swim with their head above the surface. Maybe you feel a little lonely this morning; maybe your little human(s) didn’t know it was Mother’s Day and perhaps no-one reminded them or wrote you on their behalf.
I see you. I feel you. I hear you.
Happy Mother’s Day!!!
May today you Mother yourself too. May you offer yourself the unconditional regard and love that you offer your child/ren today. May you celebrate your breathtaking strength and tenacity and energy and perseverance and all the other powerful forces that you embody. And whatever you do – don’t forget your super hero/ine cape today! Wear it with pride!!!
To all the women out there who are grandmothers and great grandmothers – who have seen and mothered through multiple generations. We are here because of you; you bore babies who grew ovaries and wombs which made and carried your grandchildren and great grandchildren – you brought us to the earth – and we have the pleasure to watch you dote on the generations that came after you. We cherish your wisdom and experience, you laid the foundations for our mothering and sometimes that means that we learnt through you what not to do, and sometimes we see you making sense of the new ways of mothering.
I see you. You are awesome! Thank you!!!
To everyone out there missing their mother today….maybe your mother passed away, maybe your mother lives on the other side of the world, maybe you are estranged from your mother, maybe your mother has Alzheimers, maybe your relationship with your mother is not as close and emotionally nourishing as you wish it could be, maybe your mother abandoned you.
I see you. There are some significant taboos around our relationships with our mothers and around familial struggles which still persist and can make talking about anyone of these scenarios really difficult. That struggle is so real and so hard, and can be very lonely and isolating – especially on Mother’s Day. May you find an aspect of your mother, or your ability to self mother, or another mother figure in your life, or even simply the ‘Divine Mother’ who you can celebrate today. May there be a memory or aspect of your life which you can access easily and comfortably which can bring you some joy to reflect on today. Be kind to yourself and offer yourself adequate space to honour the varied emotions which may come up on this day…..it’s all valid.
To all the other one of a kind mothers out there: the step mothers, the adopted mothers, to the foster mothers, the fur baby mothers, the motherly figure who chose not to have or who couldn’t have babies, the not so motherly figure who chose not to have or couldn’t have babies, to the women who are contemplating motherhood but are not quite decided, to the mothers who gave up their child/ren for adoption, to the mothers who aborted their babies, to the mothers who mother projects or art or gardens or the earth or who mother other women in their care provider roles…..and to any person who identifies within themselves their mothering abilities who I have missed here:
Happy Mother’s Day.
I see you. I love you.
Thank you for all that offer the world as a mother.